Scars From Migration

Christmas time is always a much awaited time of the year. For me, it is always a time to enjoy the season with family and friends. In the past years, by this time, I had been already very busy cleaning the house, preparing the rooms, assembling the old Christmas tree (that had seen many better years), planning on where to take my family for overnight swimming, to the beach or just a resort, because in those years, one or any of my siblings with their families were to stay with us for three to four weeks for the holidays. Now, many of my nephews and nieces are already married with children of their own. Without nannies, it is now the occupation of my elder sister Zeny to take care of her "apos". They were here in 2005 but not Christmas time, that was April to May. My other sister now lives in the USA, so she is exempted from taking care of her apo Lewis who lives in Melbourne. Since my nieces and nephews are all grown ups, it is difficult for them to go home altogether for the holidays here with their parents. "kanya-kanya na silang lakad".
Like many Filipinos seeking greener pastures, all of my siblings, 2 brothers and 2 sisters migrated to Australia. The first to migrate in 1977 was my eldest sister who worked with Bank of America that time while her husband worked as a programmer at Meralco. They lived comfortably well in their own house with their two daughters studying at St. Pauls College, Pasig. But martial law came and Meralco was under the Marcos family. My brother in law and his officemates were disappointed and unhappy...almost all of the programmers migrated either to Canada or Australia. With all the qualifications met, my sister and brother in law migrated to Australia in January 1977. My aunt (the sister of my father) who was an elementary school principal was very concerned about my sister because my sister was her favorite niece. Even in her death bed, she was thinking of her and her children. She died (1978)happy becasue she said before her last breath, she was able to see my sister and her family in Australia and they were all fine.
My parents were not very worried about my sister's family because that time, programmers were really much in demand. I was still single then so I decided to go and visit my sister in Australia. From last week of June to August 16, 1980, I had tasted the life of a migrant family. In the morning, they all grabbed a little breakfast and head on to office and school. The children have their own keys to the flat (they have no house yet that time). At around 3 pm, the children were already home from school. My eldest niece will cook the rice for dinner, wash her winter uniform and her sister's uniform because wool shrinks if washed in the washing machine so that the uniform will be dry for next week. They would watch tv until their parents arrive at around 6 or 7 in the evening. Saturday mornings were for marketing and groceries and the afternoon, for cooking the entire "ulam" for the week. If there was no time for cooking, it meant buying the food from the chinese store or ordering from a Filipino who delivered the food. "Para silang hinahabol ng kung anong "multo" na takbo ng takbo...time was gold for them. In the time I was there, one and half months, I did everything to make things comfortable for the family....I washed the clothes, iron them, cook dinner, wash the dishes, vacuum the flat...and the most appreciated thing was....prepare merienda for my nieces when they come from school at 3 pm. Weekends were spent driving me around the places to see and looking for a house they want to buy. When the time came for me to go home, there was a lot of crying from my younger niece. She was begging me not to return anymore to Manila....My sister told her that I have a job at home and I was only on leave. She was devastated...she was really unhappy to see me go.
In 1987, the Japanese firm where my youngest brother and his wife worked, closed shop. He has a daughter and a son to feed. My sister in Australia then sent him a petition paper so he can migrate since Australia was looking for electronics engineers.When my other brother and sister learned about the petition, they too wanted to apply. So, their papers were processed and in 1988, they were all approved and set to go. This made my mother very unhappy and devastated. She couldn't understand why my sister and elder brother also wanted to migrate. She understood why my youngest brother had to leave but for the other two, she just couldn't take it. You see, my elder brother and his wife worked with Citibank and they lived very well, with their own house in BF Homes Paranaque, they can buy what they like, travel etc. While my other sister worked with Union Bank and then at Banco de Oro as an officer and her husband at Prudential Bank as Branch Accountant. They too have their own house, own a new car and children studying in exclusive schools. They weren't poor if that would be the standard. I knew my mother was always crying because everytime my family was there on weekends,(I live in my own house in SunValley) she kept complaining why they had to go. The first to go was my elder brother and his wife, that was February 1988, then next was my youngest brother, around August 1988 and the last my sister's family in September 1988. Everyone was gone by then....my parents now live as lonely as can be in their own house in Pateros....
In 1989, my mother got sick, she had cancer of the breast and had to be operated on. After my siblings were gone, she was very depressed. I did what I could do to lessen the depression... we fetch my parents in Pateros and brought them to malls, eat dinner, and then bring them back to Pateros. But the pain was really great because their departure also meant no children playing, no children to fetch from school after classes, no children to cook for, no children to pamper, etc. My nephews and nieces all stayed in pateros after school to wait for their parents to come home and then go home to their house in Taguig.The sudden change had made my mother suddenly idle that gave her more time to be depressed. AFter the operation in 1989 and after recuperating, my siblings prepared everything so my parents can join them in Australia. Late December 1989, my parents went to Australia. The plan was for them to stay for 6 months and then decide if they want to stay there. AFter only 3 months, my mother wanted to go home to Pateros. In March 1990, they were back home.
So back to being sad and lonely, even knowing that they were all doing fine in Australia, my mother continued worrying about them. Third week of May 1991, I was fetched by my cousins who lived next door to my parents and told me that my mother was very ill. We had no phones yet in Sunvalley then (It was connected late in 1991). So I took my mother to Medical City Hospital in Pasig. She stayed there for almost a month while I watched over her day in and day out. I didn't get to see my family for all those time, my husband just bringing me fresh clothes and food everyday and then coming for my dirty clothes in the afternoon from office. On June 15, 1991 (Pinatubo eruption) my mother died. It was a very difficult time for me because I was all alone to take care of everything...and to think of my father left alone in Pateros by himself. I was really very thankful to my cousins there who took care of him during those times.
I really wish that our country is able to provide things that we all need, just even the necessities in living a modest life so that Filipinos will be happy living in this land. I love the Philippines that's why I stayed behind. It is not that my siblings didn't love this country, but their desire to be having a better life for their children is stronger than patriotism. I am not blaming that the migration of my siblings caused my mother's death but it has certainly contributed to her early death. NOw, the wounds inflicted have healed. I miss my siblings and their families. I always wish they can come home and stay with me every year. I am just thankful that their decision to leave this country worked for them. But what about those who didn't do good but suffered more misfortunes? Certainly, scars are there...emotional scars will be there forever.